The Death Eaters Vacation
by RiAddison
Summary: The Death Eaters decide its time for a vacation, join them as they take a trip to the Mall of America...hijinks are sure to follow.


Hi everyone, I hope you like this one-shot. It's a spin-off of 'When Wizards Invade Wal-Mart', I've tried to make it as funny as possible. Which means that the characters will be very OOC, but I hope it's funny enough that you guys don't even think about that. So I hope you guys like it!

Disclaimer: Since it's been awhile, I'll remind you that Harry Potter still does not belong to me….drats!

* * *

The day was bright and sunny, the perfect day for a vacation, which is exactly what Bellatrix Lestrange and the rest of the Death Eaters thought as they marched up to the entrance of the Mall of America. Harry Potter, having been kidnapped and forced to come along, rolled his eyes at the awe which showed on their faces. They had been putting in overtime for Voldemort lately, so they all thought they deserved a little R&R. As they trooped in the east entrance, they received stares, which they returned with scowls. The first thing they saw as they entered was a massive metal beast which emitted high pitched screams. As they stood there, they saw a cart with people in it barrel past. Realizing it was a ride, a few of the Death Eaters ran over to it with looks of glee on their faces. Scoffing at their childlike behavior, Bellatrix turned to the left and started walking, leaving the rest of the group with no choice but to follow.

"Look," said Crabbe, nudging his fellow Death Eater, "They have a candy shop."

Goyle, being the fellow Death Eater, looked up at the sign that read iCandy Sugar Shoppe and replied, "It looks interesting…"

"Let's go! I wonder if they have chocolate frogs," he commented, looking downright excited, "Or Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans…"

Rolling his eyes at the stupidity, Goyle replied, "Bloody idiot! This is a muggle candy shop," then proceeded to trip Crabbe and run into the store.

* * *

Meanwhile the rest of the group had continued walking, when Bellatrix stopped in front a store called Regis Salon.

"Hey Severus, you should get a makeover! This whole greasy, mop-like hair is getting old. You need something fresh."

Grimacing towards Bellatrix, Snape replied, "It's not greasy, it's the in style right now."

Harry sniggered, "Yea right, it'll be the in style when pigs fly."

"I can make that happen…" Snape said, pulling out his wand.

"Enough!" Bellatrix snapped, grabbing Snape's arm, she yanked him into the salon.

The perky blonde at the counter, attempted to smile at them when they came in, but failed horribly when she gotta a good look at them, stuttering, she asked, "H-how can I h-help you?"

Forcing him forward, Bellatrix replied, "Yes, he would like a new style. He doesn't care what you do, you can perm, color, shave him bald…wait not bald, that's Voldemort's look, but you can literally do anything to him other than that."

"O-okay, come with me this way," the blonde said, confused, but unable to turn them away.

As she led him away, Snape turned and looked back at the group, begging them with his eyes to save him. Chuckling, they turned and continued walking.

* * *

The group had been strolling for a while when Fenrir Greyback pushed everyone out of the way and sniffed his way to a kiosk in front of Macy's. As the rest caught up with him, they found him with his mouth full of gourmet dog treats, and the kiosk attendant with a panicked look on his face.

"Doyouhavesomemoreofthisone?" Fenrir asked, his mouth stuffed, pointing to a peanut butter and meat flavored treat.

The rest of the gang watched in disgust as Fenrir continued to stuff more treats in his already full mouth. Unanimously, they all decided to back away and pretend not to know him. They made their way to the elevators, which a few of the Death Eaters where insanely fascinated with and after the group got off on the third floor, a few remained behind, riding them down, only to ride them back up again.

* * *

When they got to the third floor they turned right past all the strange Muggle restaurants. In front of them was a store called Lenscrafters, it appeared to be a glasses shop. The group as a whole turned and looked at Harry.

"W-what…" Harry asked, feeling uneasy about the gleam in their eyes.

"Well you know, your glasses have been broken sooo many times, and they really are an ugly pair of glasses. You should get a new pair," Bellatrix fussed, walking towards Harry.

"Yes, but you know, I don't really fancy a new pair of glasses," he argued, as he backed up.

"They're right, you know Harry…and besides, if I had to get a new look, so do you," Snape said, his arms crossed.

All eyes swung to him, and everyone burst out laughing. Snape's hair had been colored a light shade of brown and his haircut looked like a cross between one of the Beatles and a poodle.

"Belt it," Snape commanded, which no one listened to.

Finally able to stop laughing Harry said, "If my new look is as weird as yours, no thanks."

"Oh, it will be," Snape threatened as he yanked Harry into the store.

* * *

Still chuckling, the rest made their way down the hall, and one by one the group dwindled down until only Bellatrix and Peter Pettigrew were left.

"Hey Bellatrix," Peter shouted excitedly, pointing to the huge map of the mall, "I want to go there."

Bored, Bellatrix looked where Peter was pointing. It was a store called 'The Amazing Mirror Maze'. Typical, leave it to the Animangus that changes into a rat to want to go through a maze, Bellatrix sighed as she started walking towards the maze. Before they made it there, Bellatrix saw a store that interested her.

"I'm going to visit this store, Pettigrew, go to the maze yourself," Bellatrix said, and entered the store before Pettigrew could respond. Walking next door, Peter paid and entered the maze, he then proceeded in a little way and promptly got lost. Panicking, he looked around for other people and found no one. He pulled out his wand and changed into a rat, but it didn't do much expect get him even more hopelessly lost. Turning back into a human, he proceeded to curl into the fetal position and bawl his eyes out.

* * *

Meanwhile, Bellatrix had entered Spencer's and was walking around in awe at all the black and skulls that were for sale. When she was admiring a pair of black lace arm warmers, a pair of necklaces caught her eye. They were scowling, evil looking pandas holding a half a heart that said best friends. She picked it up and thought of Voldemort, the look on their faces reminded her of a face Voldemort made sometimes. Deciding to buy them, she started to walk to the counter when an acne scarred teenage boy snickered, and said, "Nice costume, nerd."

Bellatrix stopped and turned towards the boy and his friend, "Excuse me?"

"You heard me, you freak. How much of a Harry Potter geek do you have to be to dress like one of the characters?"

She whipped her wand out and shot a spell above his head to scare him, and then stomping over to him, she grabbed his shirt and pointed her wand in his face. Whispering with a deadly calm, she asked, "What do you think I should do to you?"

Gulping, his fear written on his face, he stuttered, "P-please, d-d-don't hurt me. I-I was j-just j-j-joking."

Muttering under her breath Bellatrix cast a spell and the boy shrank into a frog. Smiling, she barked at the boy's friend, "Hurry up and take your friend, before I do worse to you."

The other boy grabbed his friend and ran out of the shop, looking back to make sure she wasn't following them. Bellatrix strolled up to the counter and set the necklaces down. Looking up, she found the shopkeeper staring at her, his face deathly pale.

"Take them, I d-don't want a-any trouble," the shopkeeper said, shoving them in a bag before sliding down behind the counter.

Bellatrix took the bag and proceeded to skip out the door with a happy smile on her face. That had been a fun and productive trip. When she exited the store, she ran into Snape who was dragging a different looking Harry behind him, and had a sniveling Peter Pettigrew clinging to his leg.

"We have to go, Bellatrix, this one," he pointed to Pettigrew, "got lost in the maze and curled up in the fetal position and started sniveling and disturbing people. And I heard that Fenrir got escorted off the property. We really should leave."

Bellatrix sighed, there goes the vacation, but oh well, at least she had had a fun time. Following Snape down the elevator, they headed towards the entrance they came in at. As they passed Build-A-Bear, Snape stopped.

"Is that who I think it is," he asked incredulous, indicating to a person in the store.

Bellatrix turned, squealed and ran up to the person in question, "Lord Voldemort! What are you doing here?"

Voldemort turned, looking at Bellatrix and the rest, "Oh, it's you, I was wondering where you had all gone off to. I had to come along of course, I can't have my Death Eaters romping around and making me look bad. Now which one do you think I should get?"

The group stood watching as Voldemort, the most feared wizard stood in a stuffed animal store and debated on whether to get a pink, sparkly bear, or a white one with rainbow colored spots. Finally, Bellatrix snapped her mouth shut and said, "We really should be going, Lord Voldemort."

"Nonsense, I still have to stuff Mr. Snuggles and pick him out an outfit," Voldemort said, as he finally picked the white bear and was walking towards the stuffing machine.

* * *

A half hour later, the group, Voldemort included walked out of the Mall of America. It had been one very interesting vacation, and they could definitely wait till the next one.

* * *

That's all folks, I hope you liked it. It was hard, because I have never been to the Mall of America, so I had to pull up a map and a list of stores. I hope everyone had a chuckle, thank you for reading! Please review! 3


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